SEXUAL ABUSE IS EVERYWHERE
Sexual abuse is everywhere. Victims of child abuse are at constant
risk of violation. Most parents don’t have a clue about preparing their
children for sex offenders. They tell their kids not to talk to strangers.
What they say is not as important as what they don’t say. Many children are
confused by this statement. Especially since parents don’t tell them what
strangers look like.
Sadly enough most cases of child abuse take place right at home. Most
sexual abuse cases are committed by men. A small percentage of offenders
are women. Offenders come in all backgrounds, ages, genders, professions,
and walks of life. They are sly and adept in the art of manipulation. If
you need a baby sitter, I strongly recommend checking into the person’s
background. Sex offenders are smart. They will offer to baby-sit for you.
They will first hang out with one of your older children. They will put on
a good show and ingratiate their way into your home.
They will gain your trust to gain full access to your home. They will
then select their victims. Sex offenders prefer to use manipulation and
blackmail rather than force. They will set out to win over their victims
through an intricate pattern of deceptions and will be extremely friendly.
They will offer kids candy or toys and befriend them to gain their trust so
they can slowly lead them astray.
Leaving your children with strangers is scary for most parents, but
leaving their children with relatives is not. Guess again. It should be
just as scary. If you choose to do so, make sure that the children are not
left alone with the sitter. Do your best to ensure that there are other
adults around. Make sure that the children are not left there for an
indefinite amount of time. Look in on your children. Call on the phone.
Let the sitter know that you could drop by at any moment. Ask your friends
to stop by. Use the same precautions if you leave your children at a
Check your children for physical evidence of abuse. Look at their
underwear for signs of blood, discharge, or semen. Be on the lookout for
bruises in the genital area, rectal pain, itching, and swelling. Watch them
for a change in sleeping patterns, appetite, bed wetting, or soiled
underwear. Children may feel scared and behave oddly. They may act
withdrawn from social activities. They can also develop a fixation with sex
that isn’t age-appropriate. Talk to them. Ask them questions. Listen to
them. Children will tell you the truth as they see it. All you have to do
is listen. Children can describe situations in detail. Given them pencil
and paper. You’ll be surprised at the graphic pictures they can provide.
They will also be able to identify their assailants. Tattoos, scars, and
skin pigmentation descriptions can help the proper authorities identify sex
Teach your children about their bodies and let them know that no one
should touch anything covered up by a bathing suit. Encourage them to come
to you and share their experiences. Get the message across. Fondling is
not acceptable! This article expresses solely my opinion and does not
represent any organization or offer any medical or legal advice. By Julia
Jankowski, M.Ed., Certified Addiction Professional, Certified Mental Health
Professional, Civil Competency Evaluator